I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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