that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can you repeat that, but with context?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
