when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
