Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's never too late to be topless.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
