saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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