i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
