READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
