The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
