I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
