We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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