yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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