I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
