so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
