Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
