shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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