i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
