Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Actions speak louder than pants.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
