Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
