Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
