I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
