sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize