I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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