shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
