yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
