even my farts smell like vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
