Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
