I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
