you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
