he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
