That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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