Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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