bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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