yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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