If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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