my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
