Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
