On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
