Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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