I'm really into asian looking animals
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
