I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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