i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
the raccoons are back...
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