Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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