he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
