I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
