is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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