They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
