i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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