So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
