He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Girls should come with a carfax report
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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