I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
