This show inspires me to have sex in space
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
