My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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